Sanity Piracy

(I've been going through a lot of my old journals and notebooks with poetry that I had wrote several years ago. Some of it is dated 2008! The difference in the person I was then and the person I am now is astounding. So I thought I might share some of my poetry over the [...]

Empty

The evening before last I had fully intended to kill myself. I was, and frankly still am, tired of the struggle. I’m tired of nothing ever seeming to get better no matter how hard I fight. I’m tired of seeing facebook post after facebook post of states in the US making laws that blatantly descriminate [...]

Razor’s Edge

I’m depressed. I know this and yet there is nothing that I can do to drag myself from the darkness. Each passing day I sink deeper and I’m left wondering why I even bother anymore. Some nights when I go to sleep I pray that I don’t wake up in the morning so the pain [...]

Reflection

I will be glad when 2015 is over, this has been the worse year of my life by far. The entire year I’ve spent dealing with one clusterfuck after another, and the day before Christmas was just hell. I am depressed and have to keep reminding myself what I have to live for. I found [...]

Missed

In the time that it takes people to read this post, another person in the United States will have committed suicide. In 2013 every 12.8 minutes someone in the United States died from suicide; 22 of those deaths each day were US Veterans; 14 to 15 of those deaths are young adults ranging from ages [...]

Once a Victim, Now a Survivor Award

Wow. When I woke up this morning to see a nomination for this award I was shocked, nearly speechless and just shoved my phone at my wife and said “read”. Tears welled up in my eyes because I had made a difference in someone’s life. Over the last few weeks, I have been really emotional because of everything that is going on in my life right now. I’ve been off my testosterone for nearly three weeks because of my surgery, I’m stressing about raising money so that I can attend my brother’s wedding, and I’ve been battling with depression. I probably should be on medication for the depression, but as long as I’m not suicidal, I’ll deal.

Awkward Silence

In our society, we have deemed mental illness taboo and something to be looked down upon for ages, and the cost of this ideal is measured in human lives. 1 in 100,000 deaths of children ages 10 to 14. 7 in 100,000 deaths of children ages 15 to 19. 12.7 in 100,000 deaths of young adults ages 20 to 24. These are the costs of this stigma we place on mental illness.