Aydan's Life

A New Kind of Normal

I've never really had anything close to a social life, even when I was in high school. Even though I'm an extrovert I've spent most of my life in a reclusive state. Part of this is the fact that I am transgender, and the discrimination that I've faced because of it, part of it is… Continue reading A New Kind of Normal

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Depression · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Suicide · Transgender · Transgender Health

Nightmares, Lost words, and Side-Effects

​I don’t know what’s worse, being hopeless depressed or waking up crying from nightmares. I haven’t had dreams this bad in years. At least with the deep, dark depression I could escape when I was asleep, I could find something worth continuing on for in my dreams. Granted I hated waking up from my dreams,… Continue reading Nightmares, Lost words, and Side-Effects

Aydan's Life · Depression

I feel…lost

Where to begin…at this point I’m not too sure what to say if anything. I want to curl into a ball and cry myself into oblivion. When I hurt this bad, I want to cease to be. Friday, I went to an orthopaedist because my right knee has been swelling and giving me quite a… Continue reading I feel…lost

Literature · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Poetry

Bi-Polar

(Another poem, this one is from 2010.) Actions blurred together to create a haze, Time melting, twisted and warping days to days. Chaos dances behind my thoughts and colours my reasoning. Caught up in my own personal hell, Life’s up or downs nothing even and well. Everything’s thrown into a confusion riddled pit. No help… Continue reading Bi-Polar

Literature · Poetry

Sanity Piracy

(I've been going through a lot of my old journals and notebooks with poetry that I had wrote several years ago. Some of it is dated 2008! The difference in the person I was then and the person I am now is astounding. So I thought I might share some of my poetry over the… Continue reading Sanity Piracy

A Broken Country · ASD · Autism · Aydan's Life · Depression · Discrimination · Healthcare · LGBT · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Transgender

Muddled: Trying to Make Sense from All the Bullshit

In the society that I live in, people like me are disposable. I have two strikes against me, and half of a lifetime of abuse has given me a third in the form of PTSD and social anxiety. The latter of the two could have been prevented had the world been kinder to someone like me. I have been crippled by the abuse that society has perpetrated upon people that aren’t “normal”.

Aydan's Life · Depression · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Suicide

Razor’s Edge

I’m depressed. I know this and yet there is nothing that I can do to drag myself from the darkness. Each passing day I sink deeper and I’m left wondering why I even bother anymore. Some nights when I go to sleep I pray that I don’t wake up in the morning so the pain… Continue reading Razor’s Edge