It's been a while since my last post, even though I told myself that I'd write more this year. This past month has been a total whirlwind in my life; some of it good, some of it stressful, but I'm dealing with it the best that I can. First bit of good news, we were… Continue reading New York – I am in you!
Driving in the winter really isn’t great fun if you living in a state that doesn’t prepare for the dangerous weather conditions in advance. This was the case Saturday evening when I was headed back to the house that my wife, two sons and I had been staying in. The misty rain that had been… Continue reading No One Bothered to Stop
I have a love-hate relationship with the holidays and each year when November rolls around I am struck with this mixture of giddy depression and a longing for my childhood years before my family started breaking apart. While my family (my wife, children and I) don’t celebrate Thanksgiving now because of what it truly means,… Continue reading Holidays
Life has a funny way of taking plans, tearing them up, and then throwing them back in your face. This really seems to happen to anything that I plan. Back in June my family was supposed to move to Arkansas. I had planned for it. I even waited until school was let out to plan… Continue reading Change of Scenery
Your disdain for me is evident in the little games you like to play, Each day you push me further hoping that I’ll disappear and go away. I’ve put myself out there time and time again, For everyone’s sake, I’ve tried just to be your friend. But you only pretend that I exist when you… Continue reading Invisible
But those are plans for the future, and worry as we may with them there is no way to make them anything other than wishes and hopes at this point. Hopes that my family can find a new home before my depression pushes me over the edge. Hopes that my family can find a way to sustain ourselves despite the overwhelming odds and disabilities that we face. Dreams that we can breathe easy one day and be happy again. Hopes and dreams are all we have right now, aside from each other.
Tired doesn’t even begin to describe my daily state of affairs after beginning my foray into off-the-grid living. I go to sleep tired and I wake up tired, nearly every muscle in my body aching and my back in excruciating pain. There isn’t much difference now that spring has finally arrived compared to before we lost our power. It’s a little cooler in the mornings and a little warmer in the afternoons and a little darker inside when we don’t have the generator running.