ASD · Autism · Aydan's Life · Depression · LGBT · Mental Illness · Religion · Suicide · Transgender

Nothing

The hardest part of my life is seeing people around me constantly having the world move to benefit them. It doesn't matter if they work hard or not at all, all the pieces of the puzzle seems to slip effortlessly into place and their lives improve while mine continues to deteriorate. I've had fantastic ideas… Continue reading Nothing

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Aydan's Life · Depression · Family · In Memory Of

Three months

It's been nearly three months since I've been able to write anything substantial. Dealing with the loss of a friend, family issues, depression, programming projects and the holidays has really put me in a bad place that I'm desperately trying to dig myself out of. I've had to move yet again, even though I had… Continue reading Three months

Aydan's Life · Depression · Discrimination · Healthcare · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Transgender

Suicidal Idealations

I want to die. I'm so tired of struggling, so tired of fighting, so tired of it being insinuated that my life is meaningless because I'm not good enough at being a minority.  Yesterday was supposed to be a good day. It was supposed to be the beginning of the process to start my chest… Continue reading Suicidal Idealations

Aydan's Life

A New Kind of Normal

I've never really had anything close to a social life, even when I was in high school. Even though I'm an extrovert I've spent most of my life in a reclusive state. Part of this is the fact that I am transgender, and the discrimination that I've faced because of it, part of it is… Continue reading A New Kind of Normal

A Broken Country · Aydan's Life · Depression · Discrimination · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Suicide

Outsider

Why did you come to New York just to be homeless? This really should have been the first clue that the people who are supposed to help people like those in my family didn’t want to waste their time on someone like us. It’s the same everywhere you go though I suppose, especially now with… Continue reading Outsider

Aydan's Life · Depression · Poetry · Suicide

Beggar

He begged for help in the darkness and despair, Groped blindly for a savior but no one was there. The pressure built, forcing him further down, Isolated, and lost there was no one around. Till the day he played the knife down his arm, No one thought that he would self harm The freshly fallen… Continue reading Beggar

Depression · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Suicide · Transgender · Transgender Health

Nightmares, Lost words, and Side-Effects

​I don’t know what’s worse, being hopeless depressed or waking up crying from nightmares. I haven’t had dreams this bad in years. At least with the deep, dark depression I could escape when I was asleep, I could find something worth continuing on for in my dreams. Granted I hated waking up from my dreams,… Continue reading Nightmares, Lost words, and Side-Effects