Dani

( Danielle Talley 1976-2017 )

Author, mother, friend, the list I could write to describe you, it would go on for hours and when I was done I would still be a crying mess.

The life that you brought to so many people was one of sincerity. A truth that people all too often fall short of in the world today. In a world where everyone seems to placate each other, you were a truth that often seemed to cold, but isn’t that how reality is?

Reality is never as flowery and perfect as people like to pretend. It’s two friends getting upset at each other for no seeing eye to eye on so many things and yet loving each other just the same.

It’s the space between messages and conversations, that awkward silence that could last for years suddenly broken and followed by a conversation that feels like you talk every day.

It’s the anger left behind and not knowing how to deal with it. The lost feeling settling deep within yourself that leaves you with tears in your eyes and a sadness so heavy that you feel like you could drown in it.

It’s all the little things, the small talk, the bullshit, the role-playing; the thought of your voice. I can hear your voice in the back of my mind, your accent so clear, calling me a dumbass.

You’re not worth it, you’d say. But to me an so many more you were…are worth it and so much more.

You are worth every tear cried, every ounce of love from everyone that really knew you. You are worth it even now as I sit behind here writing for you half-drunk at midnight, because the only way I can deal with this is to pour out my heart.

I hate myself for not saving you.

I should have been stronger for you.

I failed you Dani, and gods am I sorry…I know it doesn’t cut it, but it’s all I have…I’d give you my own life if it would bring you back… So many more people love you, whether you realized it or not.

I hate the people that you had to have around you that treated you like shit. They deserve to be gone, not you…

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you more. Maybe if I would have said it more, you would have fought harder…

I hope…

I hope we can see each other once I’m gone…We could laugh at all the dumbasses and watch DBZ…

dani2

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