(Another poem, this one is from 2010.) Actions blurred together to create a haze, Time melting, twisted and warping days to days. Chaos dances behind my thoughts and colours my reasoning. Caught up in my own personal hell, Life’s up or downs nothing even and well. Everything’s thrown into a confusion riddled pit. No help [...]
(Here's another of my poems from my darker years. It really is amazing how much my outlook has changed. ) I ripped out my heart for you Lost my will to exist Broken mind, nothing seems true Everything is a hazy mist Confusion clouds my every thought My life has fallen apart All your lies [...]
Thirty-two. That’s how old I’ll be tomorrow. This year like most years before it, I loathe May 11th. Nearly twenty years ago my dislike for my birthday began and over a party. I was turning thirteen years old and had just moved to a new town. I was struggling to make friends and adjust from [...]
In the society that I live in, people like me are disposable. I have two strikes against me, and half of a lifetime of abuse has given me a third in the form of PTSD and social anxiety. The latter of the two could have been prevented had the world been kinder to someone like me. I have been crippled by the abuse that society has perpetrated upon people that aren’t “normal”.
The evening before last I had fully intended to kill myself. I was, and frankly still am, tired of the struggle. I’m tired of nothing ever seeming to get better no matter how hard I fight. I’m tired of seeing facebook post after facebook post of states in the US making laws that blatantly descriminate [...]
This morning was not a good morning. I laid in bed for far too long willing myself to get up and go feed my chickens. It wasn’t easy to get moving and once I was moving keeping myself going wasn’t easy either. I’m usually up and ready to feed the animals around dawn, today it [...]
I’m depressed. I know this and yet there is nothing that I can do to drag myself from the darkness. Each passing day I sink deeper and I’m left wondering why I even bother anymore. Some nights when I go to sleep I pray that I don’t wake up in the morning so the pain [...]