Aydan's Life · Depression · Discrimination · Healthcare · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Transgender

Suicidal Idealations

I want to die. I'm so tired of struggling, so tired of fighting, so tired of it being insinuated that my life is meaningless because I'm not good enough at being a minority.  Yesterday was supposed to be a good day. It was supposed to be the beginning of the process to start my chest… Continue reading Suicidal Idealations

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A Broken Country · Aydan's Life · Depression · Discrimination · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Suicide

Outsider

Why did you come to New York just to be homeless? This really should have been the first clue that the people who are supposed to help people like those in my family didn’t want to waste their time on someone like us. It’s the same everywhere you go though I suppose, especially now with… Continue reading Outsider

Aydan's Life · community · Mental Health · Mental Illness

New York – I am in you!

It's been a while since my last post, even though I told myself that I'd write more this year. This past month has been a total whirlwind in my life; some of it good, some of it stressful, but I'm dealing with it the best that I can.  First bit of good news, we were… Continue reading New York – I am in you!

Depression · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Suicide · Transgender · Transgender Health

Nightmares, Lost words, and Side-Effects

​I don’t know what’s worse, being hopeless depressed or waking up crying from nightmares. I haven’t had dreams this bad in years. At least with the deep, dark depression I could escape when I was asleep, I could find something worth continuing on for in my dreams. Granted I hated waking up from my dreams,… Continue reading Nightmares, Lost words, and Side-Effects

Depression · Healthcare · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Suicide · Transgender · Transgender Health

Major Depressive Disorder…

For over half of my life I’ve been depressed, not just the cause kind of depression that so many people suffer, I’m not that lucky. I have had this deep rooted, dark miasma of a mental illness since I was fifteen years old. The first time I told my mom I was depressed, she said… Continue reading Major Depressive Disorder…

Literature · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Poetry

Bi-Polar

(Another poem, this one is from 2010.) Actions blurred together to create a haze, Time melting, twisted and warping days to days. Chaos dances behind my thoughts and colours my reasoning. Caught up in my own personal hell, Life’s up or downs nothing even and well. Everything’s thrown into a confusion riddled pit. No help… Continue reading Bi-Polar

Depression · Literature · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Poetry · Suicide

Hopeless Cause of Broken Dreams

(Here's another of my poems from my darker years. It really is amazing how much my outlook has changed. ) I ripped out my heart for you Lost my will to exist Broken mind, nothing seems true Everything is a hazy mist Confusion clouds my every thought My life has fallen apart All your lies… Continue reading Hopeless Cause of Broken Dreams