It’s all anyone can do to really survive in today’s world. I live in a country where a majority of people claim it’s a Christian country, but when you ask them to uphold the principles taught by their tenement they refuse. Don’t get me wrong there are many Christians that do follow their faith as their scriptures dictate, but, for the most part people don’t.

I sit here writing this post this morning in a home with no electricity because our electric co-op couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning to be paid. Over the past two months, life has been hell moneywise. Our truck broke down, the trips back and forth to Texas, our dog getting hit by a car, having someone run up our phone bill and cause 5 GB in data overage (at $15 a gig that’s a total of $75 we have to shell out, because we were kind and ultimately taken advantage of) my mother-in-law’s car broke down forcing me to take her back and forth to work or places where she can get rides to work while never being thanked…All I can do is survive. I don’t live. I push through one day at a time and wonder what hell tomorrow brings.

In order to get our electric back on we’ll have to pay the balance of what we owe, a reconnect fee and now a $1,200 deposit. Yes, 1200 dollars. So, we will get to struggle through the winter without electric, cook our meals on a campfire (when it isn’t raining), struggle to keep warm when the temperature drops below freezing (it’s supposed to drop below freezing at least four of the next seven days) our water will be drawn from a well by hand. I live in a first world country, however; I’m facing the same struggles as a third world country all for the sake of greed.

We have been struggling all this week to make sure there was food in the house for our children to eat and have even had to face the fact that we might have to start slaughtering our livestock for meals. Luckily, last weekend I was able to sell some homemade salsa and make enough where we had to cull our flock.

I feel like it’s been one thing after another and I’m not sure how long I can keep on just surviving. I want things to be okay for once. I want to wake up in the morning and not wonder how I’m going to cook breakfast since it’s raining outside. I want to not have to make up games with the children and make it an adventure not to have electricity. I want to be normal and not have ASD so I can work and bring in enough money to support my family. I’m falling apart and I don’t know what I can even do or where I can go from here.


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